When I read a report on poverty in America by our superiors at the Heritage Foundation, I began to cry. The report shows that poor people in America do not know how to behave. They have television sets, game boxes, and refrigerators. They need help, and I realized how little I have done.
"Poverty in the United States has a lot of room to grow."
We want to recruit peasant people from around the world to come to America and teach what they know. They don't wear cheap knock-off sneakers. They wrap their feet in soiled rags. With their help, we can develop the most disgustingly poor group of smelly hobos the world has ever seen. Can we do it? Oh yes, we can. Yes, we can!
Oprah will start her own country in Africa. She will call it Ethiophrala and it will just be for girls.
Due to global warming, the month of July will trade places with the month of November.
Calendar manufacturers are going to make big bucks when people start replacing their Mayan calendars.
Exxon Mobil will become the first corporation to be elected president of the USA. Vice President will be a boxcar full of coal.
Tomorrow the rain will come: Run and hide your heads.